How to Make Long Distances Bearable
I’m opening up the package, and the glossy exterior brings me back to naive times.
Aaah, used textbooks, harbinger of savings I think to myself as I envision months of sleeping during class and finishing papers the morning of their deadline. Whatever I had imagined about college before I had entered were certainly dispelled now, and I can’t ever understand thinking that scheduling a class before noon would ever had been a good idea. Foolish freshman me, so easily proven wrong.
But one myth that I had always suspected to be true never quite held up. The beginning of a school year usually coincides with the end of many romantic relationships. You go your way and I’ll go mine sort of thing. It’s almost expected, just as a valiant effort by two young lovers always seems to fail at the actual practice and execution of a long distance relationship.
Luckily, I have endured a long distance relationship that alternated between sickeningly Kit Kat bar sweet to a hellish experience that rivaled the pain of a post Tonsillectomy throat (worst summer ever). So, here’s my primer:
1. Don’t call every night Schedules conflict, so don’t become a jealous Jill/Jack and suspect your partner is, ahem, fooling around on you if they’re not running up the phone bill.You should never have undertaken such a relationship with someone that you didn’t trust anyways. Keep interesting and busy so you’ll have something to talk about the every other day you call.
2. Care Packages Whether your Juliet/Romeo(spare the suicides, of course) is 10 miles or 10 hours away, send letters and care packages. For the 12 days of Christmas, send a big package with a festive box/bag with a gift inside for each day. Send pictures of a teddy bear they spent $30 trying to win you in every place you’d consider yourself a regular a la the Traveling Gnome. Keep it cheesy or roll with your mutually shared gallows humor, but isn’t always nice to receive something in the mail?
3. Don’t surprise without proper planning At least coordinate with one of their friends or family members. For our second year anniversary, I flew in the middle of the school year and had his parents pick me up and surprise him between classes. The point is that while visiting each other is what makes a long distance worth it and exciting, I had a place to crash that night because I planned. Can you imagine a worse possible scenario for you than arriving to find that your significant other is too busy working/studying to appreciate your visit? No,double check with someone close to make sure their schedule really is good.
4. Hang in their or quit You’ve heard the talk before, and you’ll hear it from every person that discovers your relationship. You’ll know if this arrangement is right for you. You’re young and really do have the rest of your life ahead of you. This is a lot of work and time to invest, and it is okay if it’s not cut out for you at the moment. Revisit the relationship after college, break up, or continue and get married(like I did, had to throw a happy ending for those of you interested in a LDR). But whatever you do, do it for yourself.
Any other readers have tips for a successful college LDR? Or horror stories- what’s funny than a scenario drawing inspiration from the movie Road Trip? Well, unless it happens to you.But time cures everything, right?
Comments? Leave your intelligent feedback down below or consider following CollegeTimes on Facebook or Twitter to stay updated or to get in touch!
Share This Story:
Please scroll down to leave a comment.
I like the first one – “Don’t call every night”. Not for paranoia sake, but because it gets really tedious to talk about your actual day. Let a couple of days past by (maybe do some casual IMing instead) before calling when you actually have interesting things going on.
Not sure if this is just a tip for long distance relationship, but you should also respect each other’s privacy. I know a relationship is suppose to be open, but sometimes you need to give each other space before all secrets are reveals. It’s very important to have trust.
“Keep interesting and busy so you’ll have something to talk about the every other day you call.”
I think this is a great point… being paranoid and trying to control each other just makes less to actually talk about and will kill the energy level lol.